Look, before you get your panties all bunched up, I know what I'm about to say is shallow, and superficial, and horribly insensitive of the living conditions of a lot of people in the world. But this is how I feel right now, and you don't have to read it.
But I feel really bad for lacking the self control to stop myself from binge eating. Earlier this morning, I made a resolve to go on a cleanse. No, I'm not on a weight loss crash diet. I want to go on a cleanse because I heard it does wonders for the digestive system.
By 4 pm, I was stuffing my face with french fries.
This isn't the first time I failed at going on a cleanse. I've attempted it several times before, but I keep giving up. I lack the self-control to stop myself from stuffing my face with food. For dinner, I thought of saving up a few bucks by going on a budget meal. But when I went to Pizza Hut, the budget meal I wanted wasn't available, so I ordered soup, thinking, hey, I'll save some bucks if I just order soup. Except after ordering soup, I had, like, a personal sized pizza too. Which is a lot of baked bread and bacon and cheese, and totally defeats the purpose of a.) the budget dinner, and b.) the cleanse. I ended up spending more than twice what I was supposed to spend to save up on the little cash I had left until payday.
My friend Denis said it's because I have an emptiness in my heart that I'm trying to fill with food. I think he's right, that cheeky bastard. Since I seem to have no control over my lovelife, and that people leave me and I can't stop them from doing so, I exercise control over the one thing I still have control over: my consumption of food.
So I eat. I consume. I devour. Because I may not be attractive enough to pique the interest of someone who'd take me out to dinner, but I am so fucking gonna eat my way through this motherfucking pizza.
But I'm afraid that's just one more thing that I'm losing control over. I can't even control my food intake. I can't control anything.
I think I'm losing it.
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