Displacement of Hurt

I wish I'm not such a boy with my feelings, because it really hurts my knuckles when I punch walls. I really shouldn't bottle things up until they reach the brim and overflow. I can't lose it every time I can no longer suppress my anger.

Ok, so there I was, on the floor, doing push ups. Zuen was pacing around the room saying things like "You'll never be together" and "Keep it together" which sounds like he was talking about the same thing, but he's not, well not exactly.

I'm doing push ups because I'm already hurting from punching the walls.

"I don't like this feeling," I said. "I want to uninstall it."

20, 25, 30. How'd I get to 30 so quickly?

I dropped, rolled over, and stared at the ceiling. "I don't ever want to get up," I announced.

There's a concept called "displacement of hurt". To distract the brain from pinpointing the pain where it hurts the most, you cause pain somewhere else where it's bearable. So we clench our teeth, dig our fingers through our palm, pinch ourselves, knock our heads on the door.

Punch walls.

Because where it hurts is here, where two set of rib cages cannot protect it from the exquisite tenderness of pain imagined.