The BMF

I went out early this morning to buy pan de sal. On my walk, I was listening to Rihanna on my iPod, because nothing gets me crazy sassy in the morning than Rihanna songs as I jog pass ambulant vendors and illegal settlers. It's like I should greet everyone in our ghetto with a "whattup, mon?"

And, yes, I live in a ghetto. Or else, why would someone be waiting for the hobo to finish pissing on the side of the grocery store just so he could take his turn pissing on the wall?

Anyway, my thoughts turned to Rihanna. I finally figured out the appeal of Rihanna. RiRi is like everyone's BMF--The Bigger Mess Friend. She's a much hotter mess, but hotter messes are bigger messes. But she's a friend. Don't get me wrong. I love my BMF's. If you don't have a BMF, you're probably everyone else's BMF.

A BMF is that friend who's always there for you, but never had the chance to because she's always in a much bigger mess...so you end up always being there for her. She goes dating trouble, and you're all like, "girl, that Chris guy's trouble" and she's like, "yah, girl, I know, but he be my umbrella-ella-ella and I'm his Cinderella-ella-ella." So then they date, and she forgets everything about having other friends until she gets knocked up or knocked down, and she comes running back before she gets knocked out, and you like "that's OK, girl" and she was like "you told me he was trouble" and you go "did i? we all human-uman-uman." Then you guys are besties again, and you go shopping, and she go "I'm telling you, I'm done with men. I'm a goddess, yo!" and she like, "Oooh, Imma shoot him down rum-pa-pam-pum, MAN DOWN!" and you're happy for her coz she finally got her shit together.

But then she starts singing about S&M, and you go like, "uh-oh", coz she's singing about getting knocked down while getting knocked up, and you suspect it's not a good sign, and then she runs back to Chris, and you know it was definitely not a good sign at all.

Buuuuuut, she's your BMF. She knows the cool places, and all the cool people know her, and also, she's quite cool herself, she makes you look cool and sassy.

So, cheers to all bigger, hotter messes of friends! We're all someone else's BMF after all!