Monopoly: The Movie

Growing up during the First Aquino Era,  I was a kid who had to entertain myself with no help from Wi Fi. Which means my porn came in print, and that I knew how to play boardgames without shaking my phone or in-app purchases to customize my avatar.

Struck by a recent round of Monopoly that my siblings and I played last New Year's Eve, and inspired by the current trend in Hollywood to turn 90's nostalgia into summer blockbusters, I got into thinking: what if they turn MONOPOLY into a movie?

It would probably be something like this...

MONOPOLY: THE MOVIE

Logline: Four teenagers hold the world's economy in their hands, and each other by the throat.

Plot:

Drake (Logan Lerman) is a teenager who has been putting his Christmas money into the stock market since he was 7. He trades in the morning before going to school, and then spends the rest of the day as a normal teenager. One day, after a frantic hour of trading stocks, he singlehandedly caused the collapse of Warple Tech by reducing their stock value to next to nothing.

And then the knock came at his door.

The Men in Suits whisked him away to the penthouse office of Gross-Point Banc to meet the mysterious Banker (Bradley Cooper... with a mustache!). Gross-Point Banc makes him an offer: use his financial wizardry as a consultant for the bank for ONE MONTH, and become a partner for the rest of his life.  Well, if there's anything more than Drake loves more than money, it's trading money for more money. So, he agreed.

But Gross-Point Banc is under siege from forces that want to bleed them dry. There's the Global Peace of Asia Sphere Co-Prosperity Development Holdings headed by the Korean-Chinese-Japanese crown princess Kim Mei Lan Fukishima (Yuna) who can crunch numbers faster than any computer, and claims to consult mystic forces for her financial decisions.

And then there's the EU's White, Browne, and Greene whose own consulting Financial Director is the intensely volatile Peter Peterson (Mitch Hewer), unpredictable, yet cunning, and probably, a high functioning sociopath.

Finally, there's The Dragon Network--a corporation of anonymous investors who mostly deals with virtual currency and transaction. No one knows who are behind The Dragon Network, where it's based, and it's actual value. But The Dragon is hungry, and it's devouring everything it fancies.

The world is up for grabs, but will it be enough for these four forces? Who will own what, where, when, and how?

[SPOILER AHEAD. SPOILER AHEAD. SPOILER AHEAD.]

Near the climax of the movie, as the world crumbles due to their excessive property grabbing, the four financial wizards realize that they've all been working for the same person... their common relative... Uncle Richard Pennybags (Leonardo Dicaprio).

What do you think? Will you watch this movie? Can you imagine the movie poster already?