Hard to Write Romance

I find it hard to write romance because it feels so much like lying. Like, look, do we have to spend this much time and energy when we all know how things will end? There's heartbreak ahead, kid. Cheating, and lying, and disappointment.

No, you don't find the great love. In the end, you find someone who'll lie, cheat, and disappoint you still, but you'll be too old and too tired to let it get to you, so you find it easier to forgive all the lying, and cheating and disappointment.

That's the truth, kid. So, we can pretend this whole dance of romance is magical. Maybe it's worth pretending that for a few moments, love works because of magic. But at the end of the day, love will work not because of magic, but because of desperation, co-dependency, and the acceptance of defeat.

Just Your Luck, You Traded a Sure Thing for a Quick F*ck

There's a special place in hell for cheaters. I see it in my mind as a cage. Cheaters will wake up in hell upon death, and find themselves in a cage. This cage has bars that vibrate at such a high speed that they whistle as they violate the air.

There is a door to this cage, and sometimes the watchman turns his back around to get himself some coffee. It is in this opportune time that cheaters can seize  the opportunity to escape. They wait until no one is watching and slip out.

But see, therre never was a cage in the first place. And the watchman had better things to do than keep an eye on cheaters.

So, the real horror here is upon exiting the cage in their heads, cheaters will turn around to find everything gone, and they have nowhere to go in the vast emptiness they have escaped into.

Takes a Spell to Break One

"Dude," I said over the phone to GP. "I need a spell to dispel heartbreak. Do you have one?"

"I'll come up with something," he said.

Yes, I have a shaman on speed dial. It's not like I consult him before making big life decisions. But it's great to know that someone cosmic got my back. Also, he's my access point to substances that raise consciousness, which is what's really great about the whole thing.

Writer's Block

Nakakabaliw ang Writer's Block that I'm experiencing right now. Seriously. I've wasted a lot of hours na trying to get the words right. The frustration is like tearing a room apart. Like, just going at it. Throw things against the wall.

It's very frustrating kasi I don't usually have the time to write, and now that I make time to write, I can't seem to push myself to do it. I really treasure every little moments that I can steal away from the world and just write stories, and now, I can't even do that. Sayang ang oras, tumatakbo ang metro, di ako makapagsulat.

Siege Malvar Photos

Here are some photos of Siege Malvar.

Siege Malvar Goes to the Bear Farm Alone

Recently, my office doll Enzo Noooo was taken from me. It was really upsetting, and my officemates can't believe how upset I was.

Here's the thing. I write stories in my head. All the time. It's not like I can turn it off. I just do. I compose stories, write out dialogues. I need dolls around me so I can have a point to throw the dialogues to. Without dolls, I'll go crazy. I'll hear the voices in my head, and I won't be able to tell which one's mine and which one's made up.

As a sample to my madness, here's a clip of me going to a BEAR FARM (more of a museum, actually) alone because my friends won't go with me. Guess what I did in the Bear Farm. That's right. I talked to the Teddy Bears on display. ALONE.