Mestizang Ulingan - Preview

"Dad," baling ni Keterine sa kanyang ama. "Bakit ako tinitingnan ng mga kapitbahay nating pisante? Ngayon lang ba sila nakakita ng mestiza?"

Mestizang Ulingan - Ang kwento ng mag-amang mula sa rurok ng karangyaan ay bumagsak at humampas sa lupa dahil sa trickle down effect ng economic crisis ng US at some European countries. 

Tinatampok si Ketket bilang Keterine, ang Mestizang Ulingan. Sundan ang kanyang buhay sa kanyang pagnanais na muling maabot ang dating tinatamasang sarap ng buhay, at pagbayarin ang mga kontrabidang kumamkam sa kanilang yaman. 

Palaban, matapang, racist, at horny. Yan si Keterine. 

First World Beggar

In a life affirming moment, Inside Edition exposed ("The jig is up!") a woman pretending to be infirm to scam people for money.

I think what tipped them off is the fact that the "homeless woman" was asking for money using a venti Starbucks cup. 

This basically confirms my suspicion that the homeless in other countries live better lives than I do.

The investigation was spurned by the complaints of the woman's landlady, who she paid rent to monthly...with coins.

Bronson Pelletier Marks His Territory at the Airport

Actor from "Twilight" franchise Bronson Pelletier was arrested earlier this week for urinating in public. At the airport. After getting thrown out of his flight for being severely intoxicated. If you want to see the awesome uncensored video of this young man whipping out his wolfpackage, check out this link.

His story: some guy set him up by repeatedly buying him drinks at the airport bar. Yes, bro, we've all been down that road. Some guy buying you drinks, until you're so wasted you don't know what's happening, and you end up waking up the next day with a sore ass, clutching ten dollar bills. Oh, wait. That was just me in college.

I don't know what the big deal is. This sounds like a perfectly bad decision that turned into a legendary story. Sounds like the man had quite an epic night. I think everyone should have one Lindsay Lohan phase in their lives, and perhaps, this is Bronson's.

I think the bigger issue here is the lack of a bro accompanying Bronson Pelletier. Where are your bros, brah? Every young man out to get royally fucked up by alcohol should do so only in the company of bros. Fly solo sober, get fuckin drunk with a brother. Those are your choices. Where's the bro shooing the redcoat away, or punching the guy taking the video in the face? If this happens to my bro, I'd be out punching dudes watching randomly. Like, I'll go totally bat shit crazy, and just take people's phones away. We'd get arrested together, yes, but what can be more awesome than that.

UNLESS, the dude taking the video is his bro, then that would be really, really, very much, EPIC. Bros are for taking Youtube videos of you getting arrested.

BONUS: If you're looking for excellent quality screen caps of the epic moment when Bronson whipped out his Bron's Son, check out this link.

Everyday's OK

 We saw a Yakult lady along Tomas Morato this afternoon. It was awesome. Yakult should come in 300 ml bottles.

Siege Malvar at the Burger Project

My friends from the office and I went to a burger place in Maginhawa street where they give you these order slips so you can customize your own burger. It's amazing. You can put all sort of shit on your burger. Like, bacon and shit. Check out the burger I designed.

It's like the Minecraft of burgers. The overall philosophy behind the architecture of my burger was "tangy", so I selected ingredients that really clashed against each other.

Here are my friends enjoying the shit they came up with. Also, we didn't coordinate our orders, so we ended up with tons of side shits that we had to finish up. Like buffalo wings, and fries, and onion rings, and shit.

Like Sex, But Only Geekier and with Less Creeps

For the sake of my wellness and mental health, I've decided to limit playing Minecraft to 10 hours a week. I think that's a workable diet to curb my addiction. That's a total of 10 hours every week, which I can spend straight or in tiny bite size packets.

The BMF

I went out early this morning to buy pan de sal. On my walk, I was listening to Rihanna on my iPod, because nothing gets me crazy sassy in the morning than Rihanna songs as I jog pass ambulant vendors and illegal settlers. It's like I should greet everyone in our ghetto with a "whattup, mon?"

And, yes, I live in a ghetto. Or else, why would someone be waiting for the hobo to finish pissing on the side of the grocery store just so he could take his turn pissing on the wall?

Anyway, my thoughts turned to Rihanna. I finally figured out the appeal of Rihanna. RiRi is like everyone's BMF--The Bigger Mess Friend. She's a much hotter mess, but hotter messes are bigger messes. But she's a friend. Don't get me wrong. I love my BMF's. If you don't have a BMF, you're probably everyone else's BMF.

A BMF is that friend who's always there for you, but never had the chance to because she's always in a much bigger mess...so you end up always being there for her. She goes dating trouble, and you're all like, "girl, that Chris guy's trouble" and she's like, "yah, girl, I know, but he be my umbrella-ella-ella and I'm his Cinderella-ella-ella." So then they date, and she forgets everything about having other friends until she gets knocked up or knocked down, and she comes running back before she gets knocked out, and you like "that's OK, girl" and she was like "you told me he was trouble" and you go "did i? we all human-uman-uman." Then you guys are besties again, and you go shopping, and she go "I'm telling you, I'm done with men. I'm a goddess, yo!" and she like, "Oooh, Imma shoot him down rum-pa-pam-pum, MAN DOWN!" and you're happy for her coz she finally got her shit together.

But then she starts singing about S&M, and you go like, "uh-oh", coz she's singing about getting knocked down while getting knocked up, and you suspect it's not a good sign, and then she runs back to Chris, and you know it was definitely not a good sign at all.

Buuuuuut, she's your BMF. She knows the cool places, and all the cool people know her, and also, she's quite cool herself, she makes you look cool and sassy.

So, cheers to all bigger, hotter messes of friends! We're all someone else's BMF after all!